The Power of Your Third Place

Friends has Central Perk.

How I Met Your Mother has MacLaren's Pub.

Carpe Corde and I have Lyon Street Cafe.

Do you have a Third Place?

Home = first place. Work = second place.

Where would you hang out outside of either of those places? THAT's your Third Place. Likely a bar or a coffee shop, both of which are stellar choices for a Third Place. If you don't have one, find yourself one that qualifies (see below) and make it your Third Place.

As I sit here in mine writing this, I'm here to tell you WHY having one is so important and what to look for in one.

Friends, How I Met Your Mother, and a lot of other shows all have that other place where the characters come together outside of the home and office. Your Third Place is your intentional spot to hang when you aren't at home or at work.

It's that place "where everybody knows your name," as they say in Cheers.

Like today, I walked in the door of the cafe, hadn't even ordered and the barista had already made my drink, a vanilla latte. I almost cried because I was so touched, TBH. If there's any sign of a Third Place, I feel like that's it! Lawls. (Note: results like these take time.)

What to look for in your Third Place:

Welcoming Space

First and foremost, the environment of the place has to be comfortable. Homey and cozy. Nothing too loud like a club, where you can have a conversation. A space that is inviting to you. For example, I walked into Lyon Street Cafe and immediately fell in love. I always say "It's the embodiment of me, if I was a coffeeshop," which is why it won my heart. It has that home away from home feeling.

Close to the First Place

Your Third Place is typically close to your house, something within walking distance. Don't spend a lot of time and energy getting there. Mine is a block away. No ... I didn't move down the street just to be closer ... Never! ;)

Social Boundaries Don't Exist

This is two fold. It's either free or inexpensive. Probably food and drink involved but no memberships. You don't have to have a lot of money to consistently go here or be a regular. This place also acts as a leveler. There is no distinction between class. We are all the same here. In fact, you can trace a few different social revolutions back to salons as a result of this "leveling" that happens in those types of environments. There is little fear of judgment happening in the space.

People

Take a look at the "regulars" and the other people there. It may be a leveled spot but what's the vibe of the people in the space? You'll likely have to visit a spot a few times to truly feel this out. And a few more times to become a regular. Once you're there, it's worth it. I am SO proud to be a regular at my Third Place. Every time I travel, I legit wish I could take this coffee shop with me in my pocket because I struggle to find one as perfect and heartwarming as this cafe while I'm on the road.

Relaxing & Enjoyable

There may be people working within the environment. BUT it's informal and relaxed. Usually playful and fun. There is no obligation for people to be there. You come as you are and leave when you want. There are a few times where my friends and I have been in the cafe for 10 hours. Whoops!

Connection

Last and certainly not least, the space fosters a sense of connection and community. There is lively conversation happening. Whether it be about the events of the day, venting about your job or current events, there is ALWAYS conversation. I come and work from my spot AT LEAST once a week, usually with a friend. We "co-work" as we call it and throughout the working, there is enriching and fun conversation that deepens our friendship. Seriously one of the highlights of week.

Why it's important:

The Third Place has so many benefits from your social life to your own well-being. I could go on for awhile. So I'll keep it short.

In our society, we isolate ourselves in our houses if we are home. We use them to retreat. We think we aren't isolating because we're "connecting" via a device. NOT a thing. Home or not, we are "connected" through our phones but actually isolated. The Third Place brings this full circle by creating a space of connection for you without isolation or the stress of work.

Speaking of connection, having a Third Place can keep you more in touch and connected to your community. You'll hear about events or other gatherings that are happening that you may not hear of otherwise. Connection to your community is so valuable to feeling enriched in your life.

If you go to a place enough, you'll begin to make friends while you're there - with the regulars, other folks and the employees. I started following a few GR bloggers on Instagram awhile back. I introduced myself and first met them in person here in the cafe and now they're some of my closet friends here in GR (yes, I'm serious). I've also made friends with a few regulars. We may not always hang out outside of the space. But in the space, we always sit together if we're both here. Engaging in deep conversation.

There's a great comfort in finding your home away from home. Even when it's just down the street. There are times you've gotta get out of this house and the Third Place serves that purpose. In your third place, you feel welcome and you feel comfort. I find so much solace in this space. It has helped me and enriched me in so many more ways than I can discuss in one post.